I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT G-FORCE. THE GUINEA PIG SPY MOVIE. WAS MADE IN PARTNERSHIP WITH LOCKHEED MARTIN

im in so much physical pain i might died

disgusting evil bastard muscle

the stingray

sorry for veggieangelism but really you can put pretty much any veg in the oven for 20 minutes at 400 covered in olive oil, salt, pepper, onion+garlic powder and have it be good

need more dialogue options in games to be "okay"

like thats all

can you add a dialogue option that says ‘can we kiss please’ please

okay

posts that have 40,001 notes to me

The Paul siblings 😍😍😍

Every day I am tormented by the fact that I am the mind behind Roop Paul and that people who weren’t friends with me or following me back then almost NEVER believe me. I made this meme in picsart when I was like 14 years old and now at 20 I see it all the fucking time and friends always send it to me on Instagram when a popular meme page reposts it like “didn’t u make this in 8th grade djjsjfjskcjKfn” and almost every time I see a meme involving rupaul the comments are full of Roop jokes . And there’s this one meme page I follow that’s like pretty small but the username is “motherroop” and their followers call them Roop . And like I’m just constantly reminded of my own greatness and the fact that I will never be granted recognition for my extremely powerful and absolutely fucking fascinating mind 💔

I understand. my sister’s best friend made the “imagine troy bolton” meme when he was in sixth grade. It’s a hard legacy to carry

THIS ONE????

I'm being oppressed

The worst invention of late stage capitalism is the screen on the gas pump that plays video ads at you. The best invention of late stage capitalism is the coke freestyle machine.

I think I experienced a worse one a couple weeks ago. Was on a flight, had one of those screens in the back of the seat... except it wasn't for in flight entertainment. It was for ads. And you couldn't turn off the screen either. So I'm trying to sleep on this red eye flight with a flashing screen 1 foot from my face.

if you had hijacked the plane because of that no jury in the world would have convicted you

Ok but the meter on that line is SICK

i PRAY nobody KILLS me for the CRIME of being SMALL

Crisp

Delicious

That bug is an excellent poet

iambic heptameter. six feet for the bug, and the final one divine.

the police to my mom: ma'am your daughter was driving 110 mph eating hot cheetos with one hand and texting in an imessage group chat titled “boy pussy” with the other and crashed into the back wall of dd’s discounts and died instantly but somehow her body made its way to the accessories section and we found 35 dollars worth of stolen hoop earrings in her purse

certified iconic post

anyway I can’t get this creature’s fucking face out of my head

One of my favorite things about Pride and Prejudice is the Bennet family’s complete cluelessness about Darcy and Elizabeth. Like, if this were a tv show about the Bennets, Darcy and Elizabeth are like, the D storyline. The whole family is trying to get Jane and Bingley together, the regiment is stationed in Meryton, Mr. Collins is taking the house, Lydia and Wickham are obviously the climax, these people have a lot going on. And then, once the regiment has left and Jane and Lydia and Mr. Collins are married and everything seems resolved: plot twist! They’ve got random nobility at the door in the middle of the night telling the know-it-all sister who has been home on and off through the year not to marry the rando rich guy they all hate simply because they’re family and loyal to each other damnit and he called the know-it-all sister ugly once. 

And then, of course, they all find out Lizzy and Darcy are actually very in love and literally all of the good things that have happened to them this year are a direct consequence of Darcy loving Lizzy lolol. 

new favorite image: all 2,700 possible tropical fish variants in minecraft